Back off Hardy Boy
by Potter-Pikachu
Summary: This is a story me and my friend Jenelope wrote so credit goes to her!! Summary: Jeff is feeling lonely so he goes out into the world to find some love. He finds the perfect match for him but when a certain Uptight brother interfers, Jeff gets into more t
1. Chapter 1

Potter/Pikachu: Hello peeps, here's another fic for ya, and it's a complete change of pace from Harry Potter for once. Isn't that great!!???  
  
Sirius, Remus: What!?  
  
Potter/Pikachu: Yup and it's a wrestling fic. Too!!  
  
Sirius, Remus: WHAT!? Wait a minute..  
  
Potter/Pikachu: AND.The Rock is going to be my special guest to do the disclaimer.  
  
Rocky: FINALLY, The Rock has come BACK! To fanfiction.net!  
  
Sirius: Who the hell is this guy?  
  
Rocky: Only the most electrifying man in sports entertainment!  
  
Remus: Sports enter-which?  
  
Sirius: Oh! He must mean Quidditch, right Rocky?  
  
Potter/Pikachu: Um, no not exactly. Anyways, Rocky, if you would do me the honors of giving the Disclaimer?  
  
Rocky: Sure, The Rock says this, Disclaimer: Potter/Pikachu does not own from The WWF or any of the, characters from The WWF. The only thing she owns is the name of Valerie and the plot for this fic.  
  
Potter/Pikachu: Give it to the finishing touch Rocky!  
  
Rocky: If you SMELL!!!! What. The Rock. Is. Cookin!! *raises the peoples eyebrow*  
  
Remus: Wow, that's a cool catch fraise.  
  
Sirius: Man, I want a catch fraise like that too.  
  
Potter/Pikachu: Not as cool as mine, anyways since you and Remus have been so nice introduce the Damn title!!  
  
Remus, Sirius: Okay.  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus, Sirius: Back off Hardy Boy  
  
By Potter/Pikachu, and Jenlope  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
One night Jeff was thinking about his love life. He felt very lonely because Matt had Lita and all he had was his poetry, skittles, and Scooby- Doo reruns. So he decided to stop wasting time and go out and try to find a lover. So he went to a bar and left Matt a note saying that he would be back sometime around 6 a.m. Jeff hopped into his mustang and rode off into the night.  
  
When he reached the bar he saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. She had blond hair, green eyes, a tone body, and pink lips. Jeff continued to stare at the so called angel when suddenly, Stone Cold sort of popped up out of nowhere snapping Jeff out of his brainless stupor. He asked Jeff if he had ever met his sister, who just so happened to be the beautiful woman he was staring.  
  
"N-n-n-n-n-no," Jeff stuttered to Stone Cold.  
  
Austin looked at him funny, "What you stutterin' for stupid?" he asked. "Never mind I'd better not ask, come on over and have a beer, or two, or three, what the hell how bout the whole damn pack."  
  
Jeff simply nodded dumbly in response as Austin dragged Jeff over to his sister.  
  
"Hi," Stone Colds sister said. "My names Valerie, what's your name cutie?" she asked, while licking her lips.  
  
Jeff went numb all over, 'Valerie,' his mind droned. 'What a heavenly name." Jeff sort of stood there staring blankly at them until Valerie started snapping her fingers in front of his face.  
  
"You-who! Anybody home? I asked what your name was skippy," said Valerie.  
  
Jeff blinked once, "Oh my name is uh, Joe.I mean Jacob.wait no its Jerk."  
  
"The rainbow colored idiot over here is Jeff," Stone cold interrupted, getting tired of Jeff's stuttering.  
  
Valerie laughed, "Your kind of cute for an idiot."  
  
Jeff blushed slightly and tried his best to hide it.  
  
Stone Cold looked from the reddened Jeff to his flirtatious sister and rolled his eyes, "yeah, yeah, can you guys cut the crap and let's get some beer already. You do know how to drink beer don't you Jeff?"  
  
"No," said Jeff, still staring at Valerie with strange little hearts in his eyes.  
  
"Oh well more for me then. Yo bartender, give me all of skittle boys drinks!" Stone Cold called.  
  
"You better give me some of that crap," Valerie yelled, snatching some of the drinks from her brother.  
  
Jeff thought that Valerie drank like an angel as she guzzled down 3 beers at a time. After they finished their beer Stone Cold stated that he had to visit the little Texas rattlesnakes' room. As soon as Austin left, Valerie walked over to Jeff and gave him a big kiss on the lips.  
  
"You're real cute for a rocker want to go out?" She said after they parted.  
  
'SCORE!' Jeff thought. 'And on my first night too! I'm such a player.' "S-s- s-s-sur-sur-sur-sur-sur." Jeff stuttered but Valerie stopped him by putting one finger on his lips.  
  
"Shut up, I'll take that as a yes." She pulled him closer into her and then they continued to exchange numerous kisses.  
  
Stone Cold finally emerged from out of the bathroom, and noticed Valerie lip locking with that fruity bastard! He was about to go over there and open his famous can of woop ass, but Jeff was already out of the door.  
  
Austin quickly stormed up to Valerie. "What the hell you doing kissin that- that PANIWAIST for!?" he yelled angrily.  
  
Valerie narrowed her eyes at him, "Well I just so happened to like that panwaist for your information," Valerie snapped.  
  
"I don't give a rats ass who you like no sister of mine is going out with no fruity luscious version of that Lucky Charms leprechaun!" Austin snapped back.  
  
"You can't tell me what to do," said Valerie as she left the bar and flicked him off.  
  
  
  
  
  
***************************************  
  
  
  
  
  
Potter/Pikachu: so how was it?  
  
Sirius: Please.  
  
Remus: Read.  
  
Rocky: and.  
  
Potter/Pikachu: Review!!! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. You knew that.  
  
  
  
The next day Valerie called Jeff and had a very mushy conversation over the phone.  
  
"Hey honey, how you doin'? I can't wait for our date tonight," she said in a very sappy like voice. "oohhh, how about a quarter to five?"  
  
"What do you mean a quarter to five," came Jeff's confused voice over the receiver.  
  
Valerie sighed, "Just pick me up at 4:25 okay." With that they said their mushy good byes and hung up at the same time.  
  
************************  
  
Back at the Hardy residence, Matt was helping Jeff get ready for his date.  
  
"I can't believe my baby brother Jeffy is going out on a date," said Matt proudly.  
  
"Yep I'm going to have sex tonight!" Jeff said excitedly.  
  
Amy raised her eyebrow in a very rock like way, "That's a little to much info, just a little advice Jeff, please don't shout that out during your date."  
  
Jeff pulled out a small note pad from his tuxedo pants, "Don't shout out that we're having sex," he scribbled down.  
  
"It's genius, don't know why I didn't think of it before. Hmm, I guess I'd better not shout out hormones or any other sexual items until we hit the sack huh Amy?" he said, crossing off the words booty, sex slut, and squish boobs on his notepad.  
  
Amy and Matt exchanged nervous glances, both thinking about how disturbing Jeff's mind was and wondering wear the hell he got that note book from.  
  
"Um so Jeff what does this Valerie look like?" Matt said changing the subject.  
  
Jeff suddenly got a real dreamy look in his eyes and almost started drooling. "She looks just like an angel that came strait from hell."  
  
Amy smacked herself on the forehead, "Moron," she muttered to herself. "We need a real description you dumbnut."  
  
Matt seeing that Amy was fixing to rip Jeff's head off, looked down at his watch. "Oh my gosh Becky! (A/N: Inside Joke) You'd better get a move on Jeff or you'll be late for your date."  
  
"Oh right, I'm outta here," Jeff said and skipped out the door.  
  
"Oh and Jeff," Matt called.  
  
"What?" Jeff said from out the door.  
  
"For the love of god walk like a man!"  
  
*****************************  
  
Jeff pulled his blue mustang up Valerie's drive way and walked up to the doorway. He knocked on the door and to his misfortune Austin answered it.  
  
Stone Cold grabbed Jeff by his shirt collar and threw him on the couch, and then shoved him into the corner. Austin seated himself on the couch facing Jeff and just stared at him for a while.  
  
"So," Stone Cold said, breaking the silence. "What are your intentions, Hardy boy?"  
  
"Well," Jeff began brightly. "I'm planning on taking her to the movies, dinner and hopefully I can get a big wet tongue kiss later on."  
  
"What'd you just say paniwaist?" he growled, pulling out a knife and putting it up to Jeff's neck.  
  
"If you think about making whoopee with my sister I'll open a can of whoop ass on you, and then I'm going to cut you up and throw your tiny pieces into the ocean so the sharks can eat you!" Austin had a look of murder in his eyes that made Jeff gulp real loudly.  
  
Just then Valerie came from down the stairs and Stone Cold quickly hid the knife from his sisters eyes. "Hi Valerie," he said in sweet voice that fooled no one. "Me and Jeff here were just getting to know each other better, since you and him are an item and all-isn't that right Jeff." Stone Cold flashed the knife at Jeff and he nodded hurriedly.  
  
Valerie didn't notice the knife but she definitely didn't by her brothers' sweet talk crap. "Well we'd better get going Jeffy poo." She walked towards the door and Jeff, grateful to get away from the homicidal Stone Cold followed her.  
  
"See you two lovebirds later," Stone Cold said before they reached the door. Jeff looked back at Austin and noticed him making a gun out of his fingers and motioning it to his head, and then he pointed it at Jeff. 


End file.
